This Week I've Learned...

This week I learned that while I see it as a priority to put others first, many don't see life the same way I do. I learned this week that just because I aim to ensure that others are happy, it's not always reciprocated. This week I was taught that to feel as though I am important I must believe I am. 

This week I learned that I am a body without a face. Easily replaced, easily gotten rid of when my time is over due. I am replaceable. Not a permanent fixture, just there as long as I'm needed and put away as soon as my job is done. It's as though I am kept around only when it is convenient to the user. 

This week I learned how it feels to be a doll. While you may be the child's favorite, you're easily replaced by the newer prize and you can be traded out for any other doll as needed. It's a lonely and dreary existence. If dolls do have feelings, I wish I had known so I could've tried so much harder to show them love and kindness and to show them they were in fact, important to me and my happiness. 

Throughout life you are introduced to people and you think that they will be there for you until the end. You believe that no matter what they will be by your side. You try to look for the best in others, for everyone's "silver lining," but you see, the world is hard on optimists. The world doesn't favor the undying belief in goodness and love inside everyone. The world is a place of realism. You must be a firm believer in reality to survive, if not you struggle down the path of heartache and hurt and pain. But then again who's to say that's not what makes life? Who's to say pain isn't actually a good thing? 

The life of optimism comes with a pain derived from being misled. From being told you're important and that you matter only to be let down in the long run. To be told you have significance only to be treated like dirt. This week I have learned how pain and importance and love and happiness all add up. 

This week I learned that life can suck and you can be led on, trampled on, forgotten, used, replaced, put last and yet still, you can pick yourself up and keep going. I learned that you HAVE to pick yourself up. 

Life goes on, and so can you. 

As can I.