The hard "L"
Recently a good friend of mine and I were talking about ~love~ Yep. The hard "L." The word that single handedly strikes fear into the hearts of all who are scared of commitment. We talked about how we didn't truly know what love was or if we had felt it. Me being me, I started to reflect. Upon this reflection I came to my usual conclusion that I have never felt "love" nor experienced it and it is in fact, a fallacy. A fake. A mirage.
To me love is like seeing Chick-fil-a open on a Sunday, it will never happen.
I adopted this belief early on in high school. I was most definitely trying to seem deep and insightful, and I was also most definitely trying to impress a boy. And while one must of course think that this was just a phase and of course I grew out of it... I did not. I dug in deeper and deeper and let this thought consume me. I made it my sole belief system. I convinced myself that love was not real and if you could say you love pizza and also say you love someone it OBVIOUSLY had zero meaning. Super optimistic right? I went in and out of relationships and friendships with this belief, undoubtedly setting them up for failure. It created this dark cloud overshadowing my interactions with others.
Tonight, I was truly confronted with this belief system. It was heavily put on my heart through this conversation that I was blatantly and absolutely incorrect. I was called out by God because of this conversation and thought process. In that moment it was like God was asking me "Am I not enough? Did my sacrifice mean nothing?" And BOY OH BOY did that hurt. I realized that I have let myself be consumed by this idea that love was unreal and fallacious while I have a Heavenly Father who died for me because of how great his love is for me. He sacrificed everything so I could live. He lived a blameless life, empty of sin, AND STILL DIED FOR ME knowing dang well what a mess I am.
If thats not love, lemme know what is.
I am infinitely and unconditionally loved. There is a love so deep for me that only Heaven can comprehend. I am loved recklessly simply for being me. I went for a long time hearing I was loved by God and not truly accepting it, but tonight it has been shown to me that not only does he love me, but he cherishes me. He thinks I am worthy and important even when I don't. He has a plan for me even when I feel completely and utterly lost.
And this love is not only for me, this love is for everyone. God lived and died out of love for us all, not for one person or the other. He thinks so highly of us it is impossible to comprehend, even when we feel like nothing or when nothing is going right. God truly is our best "hype man" as the kids theses days say. The hard "L" has never had more meaning than when spoken from the mouth of God, and in this case, its anything but terrifying.
Dont believe me? Here is is from the source, the good ole B-I-B-L-E.
Psalm 63:3 Your love is better than life.
Romas 5:8 But here is how God has shown his love for us. While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
1 John 4:10 What is love? It is not that we loved God. It is that he loved us and sent his son to give his life to pay for our sins.
Romans 8:38-39 I am absolutely sure that not even life nor death can separate us from God's love. Not even angels or demons, the present or the future, or any powers can do that. Not even the highest of places or the lowest, or anything else in all of creation can do that. Nothing at all can ever separate us from God's love because of what Christ Jesus our Lord has done.
To me love is like seeing Chick-fil-a open on a Sunday, it will never happen.
I adopted this belief early on in high school. I was most definitely trying to seem deep and insightful, and I was also most definitely trying to impress a boy. And while one must of course think that this was just a phase and of course I grew out of it... I did not. I dug in deeper and deeper and let this thought consume me. I made it my sole belief system. I convinced myself that love was not real and if you could say you love pizza and also say you love someone it OBVIOUSLY had zero meaning. Super optimistic right? I went in and out of relationships and friendships with this belief, undoubtedly setting them up for failure. It created this dark cloud overshadowing my interactions with others.
Tonight, I was truly confronted with this belief system. It was heavily put on my heart through this conversation that I was blatantly and absolutely incorrect. I was called out by God because of this conversation and thought process. In that moment it was like God was asking me "Am I not enough? Did my sacrifice mean nothing?" And BOY OH BOY did that hurt. I realized that I have let myself be consumed by this idea that love was unreal and fallacious while I have a Heavenly Father who died for me because of how great his love is for me. He sacrificed everything so I could live. He lived a blameless life, empty of sin, AND STILL DIED FOR ME knowing dang well what a mess I am.
If thats not love, lemme know what is.
I am infinitely and unconditionally loved. There is a love so deep for me that only Heaven can comprehend. I am loved recklessly simply for being me. I went for a long time hearing I was loved by God and not truly accepting it, but tonight it has been shown to me that not only does he love me, but he cherishes me. He thinks I am worthy and important even when I don't. He has a plan for me even when I feel completely and utterly lost.
And this love is not only for me, this love is for everyone. God lived and died out of love for us all, not for one person or the other. He thinks so highly of us it is impossible to comprehend, even when we feel like nothing or when nothing is going right. God truly is our best "hype man" as the kids theses days say. The hard "L" has never had more meaning than when spoken from the mouth of God, and in this case, its anything but terrifying.
Dont believe me? Here is is from the source, the good ole B-I-B-L-E.
Psalm 63:3 Your love is better than life.
Romas 5:8 But here is how God has shown his love for us. While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
1 John 4:10 What is love? It is not that we loved God. It is that he loved us and sent his son to give his life to pay for our sins.
Romans 8:38-39 I am absolutely sure that not even life nor death can separate us from God's love. Not even angels or demons, the present or the future, or any powers can do that. Not even the highest of places or the lowest, or anything else in all of creation can do that. Nothing at all can ever separate us from God's love because of what Christ Jesus our Lord has done.
Now, if you could just love yourself and hold yourself up as He does, you would have it all..... wait... you do have itall! Silly me. 🌺
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