beginning and end

 

when you look up at the sky and you see the colors blending to make a new one, coming together in ways artists can't recreate, what do you think? cotton candy skies? or how magnificent our God is that He created it? or that the way the light is shining through is breathtaking? do you only think about the sunset and its array of colors? 

because whenever i see sunsets i think of you. i think of the way the colors blend  and how they come together perfectly just like your hand in mine. i think of the ripples in the clouds that are identical to the dimples in your cheeks. i think of the shadows on the ground caused by the setting sun and the way the shadows caress your face when your hair falls over your right eye. 

but then the sun sets. and the darkness of night falls. and suddenly its dusk and those little things about you that the sunset reminds me of is gone. and instead i remember you telling me you don't love me anymore at 3 am. and you telling me no one would love me like you did, and how i believed you as though everything that came from your mouth was facts. i think of how you left me waiting for hours, thinking i was the one that was wrong when really you were with her. when dusk settles I think of the bruises left on my arms that matched the colors of the night sky. 

when darkness falls i am no longer reminded of everything i miss about you, but instead how glad i am that i escaped the destruction that was you. im reminded of the thoughts that plagued my mind because of you. 

but now, time has passed. and now suddenly i don't think of you when i see sunsets or when it becomes night. instead i think of you when the sunrises, you made me thankful for a fresh start and the ability to move on. you made me stronger, looking back you tearing me apart was a pivotal moment in my existence. i can now be thankful for the pain and heartache because everyday i have a sunrise. i have a chance to start over every single day.