the game of life

choices. I have no clue how to make them. whether it's what I want for lunch or decisions for my future, I can't decide. 

as college continues to loom over me I realize that very soon I will have to decide. I will have to decide my future without knowing all the possible outcomes. it's like when you see the participants on game shows choose a door without any knowledge of what's behind the other. 

that's what life is like. a game show. a constant game of choosing a door without any idea what you're choosing. people tell you decisions get easier with time, but why must you make such big decisions regarding your life at such a young age? I couldn't tell you what I wanted for lunch, much less tell you what I choose for the rest of my life. 

but you see, it's not just choosing colleges. it's choosing friends, jobs, classes, clubs, relationships. it's choosing the things that will forever make or break you. it's life forcing you to decide your fate without being allowed to create a backup plan. 

in life a lot of your choices are permanent. there is no room for do-overs or backup plans. and usually, you can't plan ahead for them either. this always comes back and haunts me. I can't plan ahead, I can't set up my life to go exactly the way I please, I have no control over what life throws at me. I am simply a passenger on the journey of life being forced to dodge the obstacles that come. I must flow with the breeze or ocean waves instead of standing firm like the roots of a tree. I must be able to conform and react. 

and sadly, I am none of those things. I am a planner. I like to know the end in the beginning. I like to be in control of my fate, but life doesn't work like that. 

I guess what im attempting to say is, you can't plan life. you can only choose between the options life gives you. make the best of it, even if it is a life changing choice that you have no clue how to make. in the game show that is life, choose a door and don't look back. there are no do-overs in life. 

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